Stressed Out

COMIC

by Davina J

A STATEMENT FROM THE ARTIST

DAVINA J

This comic is about a song --- and it’s about everything that surrounds it. A child’s instinct to self-police joy. The way we internalise rules without fully understanding them. How shame can outlast the tiny, insignificant thing that caused it in the first place.

It’s about growing up under the guidance of adults who never realised you were watching them for clues on how to be good. It’s about grief -- mourning the joy you never let yourself have. You realised too late that nobody stopped you from getting what you want except you.

What now?

I wrote this story about a deeply specific emotional experience. Because of that, I’m afraid it won’t mean anything to anyone. It would be deeply embarrassing to be confronted with the utter insignificance of my childhood memories.

But if I indulge in that fear, I’ll never make anything at all.

I must believe that I’m not the only one who has carried shame over something small that once felt like the whole world. I cannot be the only one who somehow learned to shrink from happiness or struggles to give younger versions of myself compassion.

I’m allowed to like what I like. And I’m allowed to create comics that don’t matter. Permission can be a form of rebellion. So is the realisation I never needed it in the first place.

The song that inspired this comic – Stressed Out – was released in 2015. It turned ten this April. I listened to it again and was reminded of a little kid who thought their story would never be told.